I broke up with my boyfriend, my step grandmother ended up with heart complications and had to be rushed to the hospital...In short order I let these two things derail me. Today I feel tired, dizzy, I have a headache and I was sipping on a coffee drink loaded with sugar, when It really hit me. I am addicted to sugar just as sure as alcholics are addicted to alcohol.
I have this need to feel loved and needed and sometimes I let it completely get in the way of my life. I put others before myself. I really dislike myself and I can't fathom why.
I've never been able to figure out why I eat so often and so much. I have figured it out I think. My depression leads me directly to it. I get so down sometimes and food gives me that instant happiness that I crave. The food that makes me the most happy is sugary foods. I will turn to them every single time. It never stops at just one. After eating I always feel so bad about myself and then the depression starts all over again. Sometimes I feel so deep and so bottomless. I need to take myself serious and fix this pattern. I need to:
1. Stop eating or purchasing anything containing high amounts of sugar
2. I need to see a doctor about the depression
3. I need to find an alternative to food when I need an instant high. ( I have no idea what)
No comments:
Post a Comment